Paige Harris You don’t have to live in guilt over what you eat. Learn how to ditch the super restrictive mindset and learn to love to eat again.
How am I supposed to eat healthy when there are pancakes?
I mean, they look healthy-ish… they have blueberries!
Good enough excuse.
I definitely ate very unhealthy today.
But hey, at least I went to the gym; I deserve it!
Calories don’t count on your birthday.
I ate super clean all week, so I can eat whatever I want this weekend!
If I had a nickel for every time I heard some variation of those quotes, I would have a lot of nickels.
But why do we say or think these things? Nowadays, it seems like we are constantly shaming ourselves for eating the foods that we love. We’re taught from a young age that the salad is good and that the cookie is bad, that we’re not supposed to finish meals, eat what we really want (especially on dates!), or eat past 6 p.m.
And if we do these things, we must have a reason for it. We must apologize for it — as if eating, something necessary for human life, is something to be ashamed of, not to enjoy.
I’ve eaten so many cookies today. I’m so gross.
To most people, eating these “wrong” foods isn’t only unhealthy, it seems like a huge failure of willpower. Our feelings of self-worth are tied together with our views on food. Since food can be good or bad, we feel good or bad, strong or weak, based on our food choices.
This effect intensifies depending on how much a person decides to restrict their diet. This isn’t the person’s fault, either. As a species, our brains react really strongly to restriction.
The more we tell ourselves we can’t have something, the more we want it.
And since more foods are coming out as “unhealthy” everyday — gluten! red meat! carbs! — it’s only a matter of time before we start apologizing for eating anything at all.
Ironically enough, people who restrict their eating the most often end up consuming more “bad” foods. A 1975 study by Herman and Mack uncovered this paradoxical effect, and a 2007 study by Adams and Leary showed that the trend continues today.
What does this mean?
Let’s say your coworker brings in a plate of cookies, and you decide to try some. If you approach the cookies with a flexible mindset, you’re more likely to eat one and realize that it won’t hurt any ‘progress’ you’ve been making. The cookie satisfies your craving, and you’re able to continue on with your day.
If you’re in a restrictive mindset, however, you may eat one, and think to yourself, “Well, there goes my diet. Might as well have a few more.” Before you know it, the plate of cookies is gone and you feel sick to your stomach.
These restrictive dieters end up hurting themselves even more by correlating their feelings of self-compassion and self-worth with their ‘inability’ to stop eating the foods they fear so much. So much so, in fact, that Adams and Leary suggest that their patterns of overeating are an attempt to escape negative self-thoughts and feelings.
How to Break the Habit?
Learn to treat yourself with compassion. It’s okay to eat a cookie every once in awhile. We’re all human. Feeding your body what it wants and needs is associated with lower rates of eating disorders, depression, and other mental health issues — all of which sound pretty great to me!
Understand that it’s okay not to say anything about what you eat. Conversation around food can be found any- and everywhere, but that doesn’t mean you need to personally participate in it.
If someone around you starts to food shame,speak up! Support the people around you! This may or may not work depending on your audience, but sometimes saying nothing only perpetuates what the other person is saying. Next time one of your friends says that she’s ‘being bad’ because she ate something she considers unhealthy, try saying something like, “Well, you’re pretty amazing, so I’m sure that anything you choose to eat can’t be that bad!” Stop the food shaming, one step at a time.
Say f*ck you to what the health and food industry has to say. No, I don’t advocate eating as much as you want of whatever you want, but I do think that the majority of people make healthy eating more complicated than it has to be. Instead of focusing on the number of calories in a food, try and check in with your body for more useful information. After you eat a food, ask yourself how you truly feel, and if you would like to feel that way again. This can be used with every single food to figure out what makes you feel your best.
If you’re hungry, eat! Once again, this doesn’t mean that you have permission to go out and eat everything at an all-you-can eat buffet. The amount of food you eat will affect your body composition. But whether you find yourself wanting another helping of broccoli or a second cookie, take the time to really feel your own hunger. If you truly want it, eat it. If you think it will only make you feel bad or sick, maybe abstain!
Define your own version of ‘healthy.’ No matter what, only you know the foods that make your body feel and act its best. This is the reason that so many fad diets exist today; someone tried eating a certain way, reaped the benefits, and now preaches what worked for them to everyone else.
But the truth is, what’s healthy for one person may not be healthy for another. I’m happy to use myself as an example — raw carrots aren’t healthy for me. Sure, they provide beta carotene and various other health benefits, but my body does not like them. This is because I have a birch pollen allergy, and carrot proteins (to my body, at least) look a lot like birch proteins. This means that a handful of raw carrots can turn into a few hours of bloating and a very itchy tongue.
Overall, the only way you can banish the food guilt for good is to change the way you think and talk about food in your everyday life.
Eat unapologetically — always.
