Paige Harris If you’ve ever taken the time to scroll through the fitness section of Instagram, chances are you’ve seen cheat meals: crazy donut creations; massive burgers with every topping under the sun; entire pizzas, or two, or three.
And the caption? “CHEAT MEAL! :P”
But what exactly makes a cheat meal a cheat meal? For some, cheat meals are planned affairs. A bikini competitor or other chronic dieter may overly restrict their food for a week or two, knowing that a glorious cheat meal will be coming on Saturday night.
Others find themselves having less planned “cheat meals.” For example, if someone decides to go on a total sugar “detox” for a month, they’ll probably find themselves reaching for an Oreo or twelve. And they’ll probably feel a little sick and most likely a little guilty after. But why is that?
The dictionary definition of “cheat” is something like “to act dishonestly or unfairly to win an advantage, especially in a game or examination.” The definition of “diet” is something like “the kinds of food a person eats habitually.” No matter which way you choose to twist it, we can’t “cheat” on our diet. Sure, you could eat something out of the ordinary with what you’re used to eating. But is doing that dishonest? Or unfair? To whom? The notion of cheating on our diets really only negatively impacts us!
Imagine this. You decide that you’re going to change your diet to start following the paleo way of eating. But then one day, a coworker brings in some freshly baked non-Paleo brownies for everyone. You decide to try one.
About 15 minutes later, you freeze, realizing what you’ve done. Oh no, how did I do that?! I cheated on my diet! I’m such a failure! Why do I even bother to try? Before you know it, you find yourself saying screw it and have a few more. Why not, you think. I’ve already cheated, so it’s ruined.
Go back and revisit that earlier definition of “cheating” and apply it to this situation. Did you act dishonestly by eating a brownie? Did you gain some kind of unfair advantage? No! And yet you still felt guilt about it. (More about Food Guilt over in this post!) In your mind, you feel that you’ve had a moral failure. If only I was better, then I would’ve been able to avoid the temptation.
Let’s get one thing straight once and for all:
What you eat has nothing to do with the kind of person you are.
I know it sounds woo-woo, but it’s true. When you choose to eat a food, there is no reason to apply morality to that decision. The only thing you need to realize is that no matter what food you choose to eat, there are consequences to it. Sure, that cookie may not be as nutrient dense as a head of cauliflower, but why does that make it inherently bad?
If you don’t have any food sensitivities or metabolic disease, chances are that your diet can include most (if not all) foods.
If you can’t bring yourself to believe that, to ditch the moral attachment to the foods you’re eating, then something deeper may be going on. And most likely, it has nothing to do with food.
Food may be a symptom, not the problem. If you start to feel the urge to eat more than you feel that is healthy for you, take pause. What are you feeling? Lonely? Scared? Angry? Anxious?
A lot of the time, people use food as a crutch to help them get through difficult emotions they’re feeling toward themselves. Personally, I used to use food as a method of control. I felt out of control of the relationships in my life, and so I turned to food. Sure, I couldn’t control who loved me, but I could control whether or not I ate that slice of cake.
That mindset led me down a dark path that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. That’s why I’m telling you this right now. And I’m going to repeat it again for posterity’s sake:
What you eat has nothing to do with the kind of person you are.
If you’re struggling with food guilt, I highly recommend downloading my Food Feelings Workbook. In it, I lay out a few questions you can ask yourself after each meal. Combined, they teach you to read to your body’s responses to any and every food imaginable — both physically AND mentally. It’s a great resource to get started!
